never a brittle wintertime

Don't Take My Sunshine Away
Sparklehorse
listen

your face is like the sun sinking into the ocean
your face is like watching flowers growing in fast motion
all your kisses i swallowed
brightened mornings and hollows
my vines and tree knots will come unwound

baby you are my sunshine
my sunshine
please don’t take my sunshine away

the grounded fireflies are little stars that are dying
returning to the earth i can hear them crying
like christmas bulbs that i swallowed
slept in a tree that’s gone hollow
and never a brittle wintertime

baby you are my sunshine
my sunshine
please don’t take my sunshine away

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Between my last post and now, the bittersweet balance tilted a bit... with the bitter overshadowing and overwhelming the sweet. Or perhaps the sweet just took a leave of absence, along with my sunshine.

November was a difficult month.

I discovered this quote at the beginning of December:

"The world is not respectable; it is mortal, tormented, confused, deluded forever; but it is shot through with beauty, with love, with glints of courage and laughter; and in these, the spirit blooms."

~ George Santayana

It's true. I am fortunate to still have the "glints", and to recognize and appreciate them when they occur. I still have moments when my spirit blooms, and for that I'm grateful.

I just wish that along the way , my sunshine hadn't been taken away, especially in the way that it was.

Quickly. Without explanation. Without my request, input or voice. Leaving me feeling very much mortal, tormented, confused and deluded.

Clarity beginning to be regained through the love of friends, their honesty and caring, through personal introspection and also through a little bit of my own denial.

Image by Vlad Kenner, November 2009